Dialogue from a few days ago. To set the scene, it was raining. I was home alone.
Two men come to my front door and ring the bell. My dogs are going berserk. I notice that these two men are carrying spray bottles and rags to wash windows. I ran to the closet and grabbed my shotgun. The following dialogue then took place:
*dingdong*
(door opens five inches, storm door stays locked shut)
Me: Can I help you?
Them: Uh yeah, uh, we can wash yo' windows?
Me: No. Have a nice day.
Them: *irritating lip smack* Man, we jus' tryna make some money.
Me: *irritating lip smack and simultaneous eye roll* (while opening door three more inches) Man, I'm just tryna clean my shotgun.
Them: (exit driveway, stage left, running)
I then called my husband, who was meeting with police, and he sent them out to tour the neighborhood. Other neighbors had already called. :) Then, I called my parents and they came over.
When I told my mother-in-law about it, she said "I bet they thought you looked like Ellie Mae Clampett!!"
She was probably right. I mean, short, blond girl opens the door with this, and all you can do is run!